hey people..
i am just excited i can write down my thoughts again..its such a releife..wrong spelling :S
i just came back from one of my close university friends house with 4 other girls..it was fun..we laughed alot..
but there is soemthing i don't like in me..which is that
sometimes when i am gathered with my friends..i feel lonely..or that i don't belong .. lool..isn't that weird?
or i feel sad for some reason..i dunno..its weird and it makes me feel uncomfortable for this weird feeling..i wonder alot..and i don't always find answers and that drives me crazy.. how can i live with my self 22 years and stilll wodner who am i?
itssssssss frustrating..i am not in the mood to put some action in ym words like
FRUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuSSSssssssssssTraTinnnnnnnnnnG :@@@@@@@@
:D any ways..
hmmmmmmmmmm...what else..i really think i need someone who will help me be more realistic and wise...and maybe walk on the right path...i dont mean i am not responsible enough to make such choices..but i feel i am still a child lool really..i don't think i am fit for real life soemitmes..people say i have a strong personality..and soemtimes i do yes..but..deep inside..i feel i am A CHILD..AND OFOCURSE a child needs a grown up to take care of...
sometimes when its late like now 12;06 am and i am confused..i say many silly thigns so don't mind me just read and forget about what i say :D i just wanna talk..
sometimes i feel its a very silly and weak thing to cry and be sad..as if we have to be strong all the time..pretending can be easy soemtimes..trust me..but soem thing May hapPen one day and ur glass mask will break down into peices..and i don;t think it will be such a beautiful scene..
i have to confesS that there r many things i wanna change in me..and some thigns that i am really proud to have in me elhamdu Allah...with all my iresponsibility soemtimes..i feel very responsibile in someway..mmmmmmmm..i feel like an old lady who is talking and talking..making no sense :D haha..any ways..
i haaaaaaate it when people remind me of my weaknesSes soemtimes specially infront of other peoPle..i hate it cuz it reminds me of the things i need to change and yet did not make a good effort to change..i think its pathetic..cuz its taking me too long..maybe id eserve to be Exposed ^_^
sometimes i am soooooooooooooooo dreamy.. and i keep dreaming..until reality shocks me..that is why i say i need a responsible ..strong PersoNaliTY grown up to be with me..cuz i want that person to dream with me but wake me uP when i float too high...got it ; )
any ways..maybe i will regret writting this and poSting it cuz i hate to show peoPle my weakneSsEs..but i will post it loool cuz i feel some people feel the way i do as well..so whatever
although i don't always say "whatever" since many things matTEr..but i jsut feel like syaing
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT eVEeeeeeeeeeeeeR... !!! :D
too laZy to poSt a n image :(
heeeeeey..what a deprESsing post lool..i don't like always to write like this but i am fed Up pretendign to be always hapPy ^_^ yuuPPpppYYyyyyyyy..
anyways don;t think i am not happy :D elhamdu Allah for eveRy thing really : ) but these r small little accumulated StuFF in my SWeet BraiN and HearT that needs to be DisucSsEd
Sometimes i don;t care about what peopel think..other times i do alooooooot...what a ContradicTioN...
i still don;t know what i want..
and soemtimes i wonder..
Is what I WANT..NecessarilY what I NEED to have a Good & BeauTiful Life?
got it ; )?
okaaaaaYYY..i have posted A BeauTiful Image ^_^
aND I WILL POST A MORE INTERESTING POST SOON ABOUT A QUESTION THAT I INVENTED HEHE.. u will like it..trust me ; ) i conFusSeD my friend's Mind alot with my QuesTioN..
ImagE FroM:
5 comments:
nice to see a post from you.
one of those days huh?
it's good to let it out sometimes, and just be yourself.
but i know what you mean...even i get frustrated, but i don't show it to people..but then sometimes i want to let everyone know that everything's not ok...that there are things that are bothering me...but i don't most of the time.. most of the time i just keep things to myself...but i get angry at myself for that...
and i know exactly what you mean by feeling that you haven't grown up...i'm 25 and i still feel like that!! and the fact that you feel lost amongst friends...well it may be just nothing...no one always has to feel good around their friends...but that's what friends are for right??
:)
heeeeeeey saaaaadia 7bebtyyyyy
i was shocked to see ur comment soo soon lool but sooooo really nice YaaaaaY ^__^
will ya..i am preTty much like u..i don;t show my SaDnesS or negative feelings always..but i still soemhow want soem peopel to feel what i feel without me talking..which is not always realistic..and in amnytimes causes me to Explode cuz i might end Up fighting or arguing with them like today with my friebnd Dimpli :D
and ur right..i may feel lost among them but i still Ebjoy and have Sooo much fun with them : )
hey thanx dear..really..i like it when i feel someone understands me or is like me ^__^
take care
Hi Spring!
many things to say! every body has a child inside. but some people hit this child when he/she wanna talk and act :( oh! forget it
I also sometimes think that I want somethings new to be happy and after a while I think I don't need those!!! so crazyyyy
hey ocean
"some people hit this child when he/she wanna talk and act"
looooool..i laughed at this sentence..but i gueSs ur right in some situations..and i don't think its approperiate to show the child always but being ur self with isamic boundries is also cool
and yeah..i realized that we wish for something..we get it and get hapPy for a while..then we want to follow somehting else to be happy and the circle goes on and on..maybe because we r misSing what we need? cuz we r following only what we want?or myabe we r greedy..or maybe even its normal..mmmm i dunno but i would like to know
i mean some people may WANT money to be hapPy but maby they just NEED to have a stronger faith or a a better attitude..
ThaanKS for ur comment
Marmar! I miss you loads girl *hugs*
I know what you mean. I go through the same thing sometimes. I'm in a room of close friends, yet I feel so alienated and alone and...tongue tied! Like sadia, I try not to show it most times. I think its safe to say that people go through this every now and then. I dont know why..is it because we havent seen these folks for a while? something happened during our day and subcounsciously we're still thinking about it? Is it a clash in our personality? Pressure about how to act in social gatherings?
BUT there are times when you feel completely at ease and just satisfied, right? Maybe its something you get used to (being around people a lot/ getting together more often). Or a mood thing, but don't ya worry girl, ppl are with you in this ;)
I'm kina glad you said you feel ike a child. I honestly believe that people who are in touch with the kid in them are the ones that stay true to who they are. As contradicting as it is, its relaxing to be a kid, to be carefree or pretend to be carefree, its just..nice. And you're right..that little kid wants some care and notice and love.
Interesting Q:
"Is what I WANT..NecessarilY what I NEED to have a Good & BeauTiful Life?" (Spring Blend, 2008) [see how good ive become with the APA citations :P Result of good ol capstone and 4 uni years, hehe]
See, I want to be a faylasoofah and say that having a good and beautiful life is the product of having a positive approach, of your attitude towards life and that its soley based on that; and that the evidence is that there are ppl who have nothing and yet are so happy. But in truth, I'm like you I don't really know wat the answer is, but its a good q ;)
Loved your post =) Keep em coming girlie, Mwah!
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