Salam Alikom LoveLy PeoPple..
Can I get ur attention for a second please..
once upon a time..there was a little girl..she was about 16 or so..lets call her " The confused girl "...
In high school..she had some friends..but few of her classmates hated or dis-liked her..
they thought..oh well..she does not smile..she is arrogant..and shayfaa 7alha 3la 2oolat el-shameyeen ..
and this poor girl..with her confidence problems and low-self steem thought..the opossite..because she thought as long as she is quite and peacful..then everyone will or probably likes her..
u know what? SHE THOUGHT WRONG..
This girl..is ME..i am not ashamed of it..u know why? cuz i am a 180 degree different person in many ways..going to university changed me more than i have ever imagined..
The point here is not only the story..But the Lesson..:
" Don't Judge people by the appearance "
I know it's hard..and i do judge ppl, positively & negetively, in many times by the first impression or their appearence which is not always right..
because when my classmates thought i was arrogant..they mistakenly switched my shyness and sense of insecurity to arrogance..they did not know me well-enough to make such a harsh judgment..but the beautiful thing about our life is that every experience teachs us to be stronger people..to learn to survive..to learn to look back and laugh about it ..specially when the perosn you are now..gives you satisfacion and Contentment to a good extend..so el7amde Allah :D
WhAt A dEpreSsing pOsT-cuz it brings memories of the school pahse in my life which I did not like very much :D bas i should love it cuz it taught me lot : )
So..Beautiful PeoPple..do you honestly judge others by the first impression or appearance..and do u think that the first impression is always true..?
By the way..I forgot to mention that in many times..these Experiences of being judged or judging other can..change us SOoooooo Beautifully.. cuz after this experience I learnt to be more out-going & social and ofcourse to smile more often :D ^___^..please.please..smiling is for free..don't deprive ur self and others from your beautiful, lovely smile :D
another thing is..not to always blame others for their impressions about you..cuz it is said
" You Teach People How To Treat you "..so if u don;t smile that much..change it..not only for ppl but most importantly for YOU..if u don't say Salam alikom or hi..or don't say it with warmth..then say it with warmth..it makes a BIG DIfference..
P.s: the images are from this website-->)www.wallpapersmania.com) cuz I feel guilty if i did not mention the source..--> Plagiarism..although..not all my images are referenced :S
Do YOU have a Story or a comment to Share..?!
10 comments:
Wa 3alikom el-salam..
Incredible , its my story too :(
ppl at university thought the same about me , i dont smile -even till now i dont - , and keep silent , so ppl thought that im some kind of a hot shot and arrogant person , but for the ppl who REALLY knows me , they know that im not that kind of a person :) , holding a grumpy face was - and still - my way to defence my low self-esteem all over the years !!
Anyway, about first impression issue , i used to had an accurate judgment of the ppl i deal with , untill once i was wrong about a colleage , i saw him at work and i HATED him right away , but he turned out to be a VERY nice and -FUNNY like hell - person :D
So , I quit judging ppl after that .. :)
Thanks For The Topic .. Bless U
I was the opposite girl of you in the school, i was so funny, active and loving life, yallah sho konet sh2yeh :shy:
and started to calm down and be quiet girl when i went to university :) w i became so shy from that time till now :shy: bass hal2 i can hide some on my shyness with work :)
about the first impression, hal2 ana mashyeh 3ala mabda2
كل الناس كويس و طيبين و حبابين لحتى يثبت العكس - يعني لحتى ياذوني
:)
alot of ppl tell me enno that is wrong and i have to be more careful from the first moment i meet new ppl, bass ana hek merta7a :)
ليش يعني افنرض سوء النيه من البدايه
Stir Of Echoes:
1.Thanx for commenting & being honest about it..which i knowو it's not always easy..
2. its interesting to meet other ppl who have been through the same experience..because it gives us the feeling that we are not alone..or different!
3. I know what u mean about the defense mechanisim..But I use it in a didferent way..ex: sometimes I smile & laugh although i carry a heavy burden..but in ur case I don't understand..why would u not smile or hold a grumpy expression? r u trying to protect ur heart from reality..or protect it against getting hurt or getting attached to others or to show that ur confident? i dunno..i am curious..but pls..smiling is for free..and it gives u & others a beautiful feeling..even if u don't know them..try to change it..it's never too late..trust me..sometimes we need to make lil changes..and u may see Big Results..
وكما قال الرسول عليه الصلاة والسلام:
( تبسمك في وجه أخيك صدقة )
3. oh..I know what u mean when some one u never considered as a friend..may end up ur close or best friend..!! interesting..
Hi Sis..It is nice seeing u in my blod ^_^
1. Thanx for your comment..
2. Sub7an Allah..3aksy :D I have an advice for you..Remember the beautiful & hapPy feelings u had back then when u were active & funny at school?.. now try to dig deep enough to find that girl in u..i have a strong feeling that she is somewhere deep in u waiting for u to find it..bas I have a Q: what changed from school to unversity time that made u a different person..? maybe if u know the answer..it is easier to find a solution insha Allah : )
3. بالنسبة لمبدءك..أنا معك..ما بحب أسيء الظن بالآخرين مع إني أحيانا بلاقي نفسي بحكم على الآخرين من أول مرة..بس ما بشوف في مشكلة بمبدئك..لأنو كل إنسان بستاهل فرصة مشان نفهمه قبل ما نحكم عليه..
بس انا بمشي على مبدأ..أحسن الظن بالآخرين لكن بحكمة وبحذر
بمعنى انو مش من اول مرة ما بشوف وحدة بثق فيها وبحكيلها أسراري ..يعني بحاول أحسن الظن فيها وأحكيها أشياء عادية لحتى تثبتلي الأيام إني على حق وبعدين بثق فيها ثقة تامة إذا شفت انو بينا أشياء مشتركة أو شفت فيها التفهم والحكمة..
لانو في هي الحالة ضميرك مرتاح انك ما أسأتي الظن بالآخرين ولو مثلا مثلا طلعو ما بستاهو ثقتك ما رح تكوني خسرتي كتير..
يعني اعرفي كيف تنقي صديقاتك..بس مو انو تسيئي الظن بالناس من أول مرة..
نشوفك على خير والله يوفقك أختي ^__^
Interesting topic marmar ;)
Hm..Do I judge people by the first impression? If I want to answer this honestly, then I'm afraid I do that sometimes. Altho, when I try not to - bas sometimes it just happens. You should read this really interesting book about first impressions. It's called 'Blink' by Malcolm Gladwell - you'd be AMAZED girl!
And like you, I was always dubbed as being 'arrogant' and 'shayfa 7alha' just because I was quite and shy at school. I've noticed that people misunderstand quiteness for being proud a lot of times. And like you, I changed when I started uni. I thought to myself: Yalla BW, you're starting a new page in life and here's your chance.
LOLz at the plaigarism. They really engraved that in our heads in uni, eh? :P
Ciao doctora
quiet^
Booky Worm a5eeeeeeran ^_^:
1. Thanx for making sometime 4 my blog- Appreciated-I know ur buzy
2. yeah..i know what u mean..when we try not to judge but we do..but the important thing is i think in this case is to be open to any changes & not to stick to that impression..YOU excited my brain taste buds to read that book :D--> sedq nutritionist
3. oh, I didn't know u were like me at school..interesting! i am glad u changed..cuz ur a lovely person the way u r now:D masha Allah
hehe..yeah the plaigarism thingi..what can we do :D
Take Care : )
1.Anytime Sis. :) , and no dear , its not easy at all ...
2. Sure , its really interesting , and at the moment i read ur words , i relaized that im not alone in this , and thee is at least one person there :D
3. I wish i can understand that too :( that face became more like a theme to my face :D and i hate it , however , im really a very nice person when im in a good mood :$
I know smile is for free, but in the default look , i just go like
:( .. even once a photographer asked me to smile for the picture , i couldnt do it :D
4. yes , life sometimes can be weird ..
Thanks :)
Hi friend,
About your question
"what changed from school to unversity time that made u a different person..?"
It is because we -me and my family- left the country i grow up in and returned back to my homeland Jordan, and unfortunately i couldn't get used on it and also i couldn't find a real friends as the friends i left in that country, i shocked by alot of ppl in there :( makes me calm down and start the lonelinees life :(
yes the funny girl still inside me, and i know that yet i didn't find the way or the environment to let this girl go out again
thanks for your care my friend ^_^
Stir Of Echoes:
Don't make excuses..i know u can smile..bas maybe something inside u tells u not to..we don't always have to listen to our inner voice..u know..specially when it tells us negative thoughts..
" You are what u Think u are"
if u think ur not a smiley person..then ur not..if u think u can be happy..then u can..u said it many times..its ur state of mind playing tricks..
Just try it..be up to the challenge..go to ur office tomorrow smiling all day..u will see beautiful results i hope
& yeah..there r many ppl like this..I can imagine..ur not alone..el7amde Allah e7na bne3ma cuz many other ppl have bigger problems..
Lioness:
I know what u mean..I can imagine..being dis-attached from ur previoud country..where the memories & friends..don't worry..change is sometimes good..makes us stronger..
ولا تنسي كل شي بصير لسبب معين..الله كريم والله يقويكي يا رب ويسعدك بس حتى لو البيئة تغيرت مو لازم انتي تتغيري بعرف صعب وكل شي تغير بس حاولي تتأقلمي..والله يسعد أيامك وأيامنا يا رب : )
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